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matter whether you are Indie or major, then the song lenght is as important as the song existence.
So, what to cut? Don't be afraid to cut, just make sure the track becomes better by doing that:
a) Intro - no need for all that development! The 4 measures with the guitar only is enough. Start after that with the Verse.
What you earn by doing so:
1. The listener's attention is still fresh, so they will fully appreciate the good lyrics, melody and feeling of the verse;
2. You put value into the song's evolution, not into developing first the Intro and then the Verse wich may be distracting.
b) The guitar solo - It is OK, but don'd make it so long. Half of waht you've played would be just fine - and make sure it goes smoothly into the Chorus.
c) Coda - It is a nice epilogue, but consider that after a good reading, there's no need to explayn waht was sayid before. I meen - your Chorus says it all - just repeat it one more time and the listener will be satisfied!
The above points should make your structure slim and clear. So lets get into details:
You can consider starting your first Vesrse with "just" two guitars - one the way it plays during the Intro, the other - rhythm (of course). Add the violin in the second Verse - this way you add a new element into the song evolution, you are reviving the attention and prepearing for the Chorus...
And when the Chorus comes is the time for a dynamic accent - make it explosive, add the drums, bass (you have 1 measure to prepare them), guitars with distortion (if applicable), second voice, violin (it's good idea to have some instrument playing the same melody as lead vocal - why not the violin). Make sure both guitars (whether acqoustic, clear or distoted) play in chords, rhythm - thus will highlight the melody and make it more impressive.
Also you should work a little more on the second voice on Chorus. It's melody is not clearly defined.
The Verse after the Chorus could go like the second one but with drums and bass. Just calm the mood after the explosive (remember) Chorus.
And here comes again the Chorus. Time for another dynamic accent. But don't make it the same as the first one.
A very good approach is the use of the "pause". And don't think "I don't play during that, so it's easy to insert" :) It may by hard to implement and give it the right impact (actually the impact comes right after the pause), but you should experiment and see what you like best. Since the vocal doesn't come on the first beat, it may be hard to put a pause before the Chorus, but you could easily do so during the Chorus. For example right before "And it all came down to me" .... maybe combined with a "marcato" in all instruments before the pause - again, experiment, experiment, experiment and see what you feel gives more value to your Chorus!
Time for the guitar solo. You may choose to make it as powerfull as the Chorus, or as quiet as the Verse - it's your choice. For example you could use for it that part of the Intro that was removed above. And let the guitar play on it.
And make sure after that, when you repeat the Chorus for the third time, it does not reduce the emotions. I meen - keep the vocal in the high register. You have brought the feelings, expressions and the listener's emotions to a high grade of emphasis, don't let them go down. Don't recall the Intro or the Verse - what you say in the Chorus, and the way you say it, is more importan than that!
That was on the technical of the song. On the Artistic, I must say that the singer has a really nice voice (another reason to start singing as soon as possible - cut the Intro :)! The lyrics and melodies are very well conceived, performed and in a good balance - they help each other! This is waht it takes for good songs - good songwriting!
Maybe you should practice a little more the guitar parts. But I'm sure it'll be fine in the final take!
Good Luck,
Anton Tontchev
for MSSVision.com - 04/09/2003
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