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Good, positive, and involving sounds and mood. The song structure
is complete and satisfies the format requirements. The performance
is clean and precise. Very good job!
Overall everything seems well thought and executed, but there are
a few things I'd like to discuss.
Let me start with the synth. I cannot think of a valid reason that
would justify its use here. It does not play an important part;
does not enrich properly the sound. Proper use of instrument would
be such a one that will complement the main instruments and vocals.
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The synth reminds of the 80's, ala Van Halen sound, but the 80s
are gone. I really think that it is hard to find a keyboard sound
different than the piano or hammond that will fit the rock style.
So my recommendation is - if you are going to use keys - you'd better
stick to these two, or very similar instruments - piano, or hammond.
Another instrument, that is just about good but can be easily improved,
is the guitar - sound and part.
The sound is precise and nicely treated, but I don't think a "nice",
good looking guitar helps much the track. A raw, distorted sound
would be much more appealing - especially on Chorus. And when (if)
experimenting with the amply you could slightly modify the parts
too. Try simple chords, accompaniment like with some more vigor
in the right hand (on chorus) you have to unleash that guitar. The
guitar on Verse is fine, but if you want to add more dynamic power
- mute the chords except for the riffs.
"Sweet angel don't you cry..." (bridge) is very well
done (again reconsider the guitar sound), but I'm not sure about
the "...No need to shout,..." part. It seem a bit like
a second bridge. OK, it isn't. And it is a good part. So make it
more noticeable, add tension, increase the energy with that guitar.
Start at "...that yearns to listen" with two note "chords"
in quarter notes and as it goes up make the chord 3, 4, 6 notes
in eights -> sixteenths (to a slow glissando).
Keep that for two additional measures, even with no voice for these
2, and then start the solo.
At this point you could slightly simplify the solo. It is OK, just
make it more linear. Then play the Chorus one more time (hey, it
is really a good one - play it generously to you listeners).
And then comes the Coda - "In my whispers alone." You
need to make it more significant. Just finish the instrumental part
on the first E-flat major chord. Then you could either wait a measure
or start as is but with only voice, or voice and guitar, "In
my whispers alone." You could also just whisper it...
Make a great end for a great song!
Good Luck,
Anton Tontchev
for MSSVision.com - Sep/8/04
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