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The first step was to listen to the song "casually", like
it was on the radio and I happened just around without paying close
attention. The result was that it grabbed my attention - "Oh
nice!" - I was tempted to sing along, if only I knew the words.
Really - I was enjoying it.
So came the guitar solo: pleasant sound and performance on a "strange"
(considering the beginning) rhythm. The reaction was "Oh, yeah!
They will switch back to the original rhythm/beat for a greater
effect. Good approach".
But unfortunately that did not happen and my senses were some how
unsatisfied. So I kept listening with new feelings, what I thought
was a Bridge after the guitar solo. Again, it was pleasant, and
my thoughts were that when the song comes back I will be doubly
pleased.
Well, the "bridge" lasted longer than expected, and at
some point it convinced me that a new song was started. Nice, maybe
I should be happy to get 2 songs for the price of 1...! Two, or
even three songs, because when the organ solo was introduced, it
clearly brought a different style stamp. And then came the end of
the track.
My final feeling was disappointment - not because I did not hear
great material (melodies, instruments, voices, arrangements, performance),
but because as a casual listener I wasn't sure what I was listening
to.
So let's discuss the track, find the reason for disappointment,
and possibly eliminate that reason.
To begin with, I was really pleased with the beginning - brief
involving intro and catchy-sing-along Verse and Chorus. You
hit the center of the target - 10 points. You got the most important
elements for a potential hit song. All you needed was a light guitar
solo followed by the bridge, and then back to the Chorus. Every
executive producer would be happy with such a song. But...
The track becomes disappointing with the start of the guitar solo.
Again, the guitar by itself is nice and enjoyable. What makes the
solo disappointing is the change of rhythm/beat - it seems like
you introduce another song. And you should not! So, keep the rhythm
section the way it was. Although, for a greater rhythmic effect
you can start the solo the way it is now (new rhythm), and return
to the original beat after the second, or better off after the fourth
measure, when the harmony is on the subdominant chord.
Then the lines "Even if tomorrow fails to glow..." could
act as a bridge between the solo and the Chorus - but make it shorter:
"Even if tomorrow fails to glow
You’ll be by my side where I stand
In my dreams and holding my hand."
It may seem tricky to make the above changes and preserve a good
structure, but don't be afraid of trying it. Just follow the text
with the related musical lines behind it - on "hand" you
could start the Chorus. I think that will work fine. It makes the
song clearer and concise. You could still keep the new beat on the
new bridge - just make sure you return to the original Chorus and
rhythm. And please, please repeat the Chorus at least two times
before the end!
In case you feel the electric piano needs more exposure, make it
more active during the Bridge. Definitely you don't need another
solo at the end!
So the reasons for disapointment are the change of rhythm, too
long "bridge", and the organ (though short, but funk like)
solo at the end. Imagine listening the first half of the song, and
then jump to the other half of the track - it is like switching
between two defferent format radio stations... The casual listeners,
those who would be your potentional fans/buyers, will feel misplaced.
On a side note, when listening to the track as material, not as
a song, I cannot but prise the good writing, performance and sound.
Great work!
Good Luck,
Anton Tontchev
for MSSVision.com - July/282004
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