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I don't wanna say that this song is a "first class Art Work".
But I can tell you what I feel about it - it's coming from the heart,
Victoria writes and signs from the heart.
So, the song is well saturated with "hearts, feelings, emotions
and tenderness"!
What is missing is a good Structure and a better arrangement.
Right now the Structure is something like this:
~"Section A", "Instrumental Part", "Section
A";
It's not clear what the "Section A" really is. Actually
it could be the Verse, or the Chorus, or the Bridge or any and all
of them. There's too much stuff in it.
And the second part of it is screaming - "what about me?",
"what I am supposed to do?", "...why?". And
also - "why is the keyboard trying to take over me"...
a few seconds...and...
...well, ...here is the synth ...it wins....:
There is the Instrumental part which is begging you: "take
a breath and start over". And "Section A" starts
over!
What the above shows is: too many feelings and not enough logic.
You are the song! What a song (or you) should communicate is feelings,
emotions, ideas etc. ...but let me shout it here for everybody reading:
THE LISTENER CAN ACCEPT YOU ONLY AT WELL BALANCED DOSES! (and preferably
with water or other soft or dry drinks) :)
You should put the parts that compose a song in a good order; and
don't overdo! Keep it simple!
So, you could take the first 8 measures from "Section A"
and use it as the Verse. It'll be quite enough and a quite good
melodic Verse.
Then take the strongest words/phrase from the lyrics and use it
for the Chorus. I believe you'll be able to write something even
more melodically exciting! What you have is quite good but it needs
a clear direction.
When the above is done, you'll have the most important parts of
the song.
Now work a little more on the Arrangement. Start with choosing
proper Instruments.
The Organ and Harp like synths are OK, but the one "voice like"
is harming your song.
Think of adding something laying in the low register - it will contrast
and underline the beautiful voice and melody in the high register.
An acoustic guitar playing rhythm could help your song further.
BTW, with those nice melodies and your clear voice, this song would
sound very impressive when performed simply with a voice and piano.
So, we've got so far a very well performed song with a stylish
and emotional melody. I'm sure the structure will be improved, if
not here, in other tracks this talented singer/songwriter will offer
to the World! Looking forward to listen more music from Victoria!
Good Luck,
Anton Tontchev
for MSSVision.com - 10/31/2002
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