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There's Good energy thru the song, but the problem is that you
loose it at times right on the Chorus. This should never happen.
The Chorus has to be your strongest point.
The start is good and it makes you feel like there will be some
nice dynamic evolution... But it doesn't happen... It even slows
down at times. In fact the real problem here is, that there isn't
a difference between the Verse and Chorus, which leads to a lack
of dynamics (and vice-versa).
The choice not to use harmonies (colors) would be OK, if there
were dynamic changes - you could add instruments on Chorus, a different
part to the song, add something to the groove, underline the chorus'
melody (overdub) etc. in order to improve the song's dynamict impact
on the listener. Adding an Instrument part could help your track
further.
That wah wah like effect could be more present in the Chorus for
instance, and be kind of characteristic song effect...
In order to make it Commercial and Radiofriendly, a song needs
to be memorable. And the memorable thing has to be the Chorus mainly!
Should I repeat again? Chorus, Chorus, Chorus!
Make it strong, memorable, rich of colors and then repeat it (like
you do) until it is stuck into the listeners mind!
That's all here. The idea is good, but create a stronger Chorus
and greater dynamic
changes (evolution) between the song parts.
With your energy and the above improvements this track will be
much more closer to
Commercial and Radiofriendly.
Anton Tontchev
for MSSVision - 11/03/2001
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